Day 44- Sticks and stones never broke my bones but words cut deep

Hello bloggers..

I saw this video this morning and I thought that I would share it with you all. It touched on a raw nerve, a memory that lays dormant until triggered, and well this video was an avalanche of emotions for me!!

As a kid I was the unpopular one at school, I was so unpopular that even the other unpopular kids didn't want to be seen playing with me!! I don't know if it was because of the patches sewn on my clothes, the cheap hair cut or the fact that I was kind to others, I don't really know and I never will know.. I was called names such a fatso even when I wasn't fat, I was teased about my large nose (It really is large), I was called Miss Piggy because along with my pig like nose my Mother made me wear a hideous light pink jumper very much resembling that of Miss Piggy.. I was never chosen for sport and when I was finally chosen for a team the members groaned and when I wasn't any good at sport the team made fun of me.. Funnily enough I don't ever remember a teacher telling them to stop..

I remember in grade 5, it was nearly Christmas.. I stole $20 out of my Mums purse (That was a huge amount of money back then) I took it and traded it for coins at the local store and then spent it on the 20c Skilltester games. I won a whole garbage bag full of toys and that day I gave each of my classmates a toy for Christmas in hope that somebody would like me, anybody but it didn't help I couldn't even buy friendship!! And then on the downside the school called my Mum and I was totally busted!!

Sadly I carried the rejection into my teens and into relationships and I ended up with guys who reminded me that I was stupid, I was ugly, I was fat and I was nothing without them..

So why am I writing about bullying in a blog that has to do with becoming a better me? Well because this time I am doing something for me. I am not losing weight to fulfill societies view of what beautiful is, I am losing weight because I want to live long and be all that I was made to be.. I am not losing weight to impress anyone I am losing weight to show myself that despite how I got here, despite how the negative words of the past turned me to comfort eat I am now happy to be healthy and my comfort is no longer in food as the words that were said to me no longer have such a strong hold... And lastly I am not losing weight because somebody said that I should, I am doing it to be a better me, a better Mum, a better Wife and a better Lami who will enjoy life and live it to the fullest!!

I want to encourage those who have been bullied to rise above it, to see the beauty that you are, to know that those words that were said to hurt you mean nothing and I know they hurt deep, oh how I know but trust me they are lies and you are a conqueror!! Sending love to you all from one victorious person to another xoxo

Day 36- Sweet Slip ups

Hello wonderful people..

Yes, yes that is ice cream you can see there, yes yes is my freezer, no no there is no longer ice cream in that freezer..

You may remember reading my blog the other day, well the sugar demons got the better of me and I went and bought ice cream. Funny thing is I didn't feel guilty for it.. Why?? Because I have been doing really well and this was merely a slip up.. If I feel guilty and let guilt raid my thoughts then I will most likely eat a tub of ice cream again.. Okay not really a tub, maybe 3/4 of a tub.. The good thing.. I didn't eat 2 tubs!!

The day after eating the ice cream was a new day and I am proud to say that I didn't buy any more ice cream, I did not buy lollies and I did not buy chocolate.. I had a healthy sugar free day!!

So as I leave this short blog post I encourage you all that when you have a slip up, get up, wipe the dust off your bottom and start your new day xoxo

Day *Who really cares*- Would kill for chocolate right now!!

Hello beautiful people, I hope you are all doing well.

I told you at the beginning that I would share my trials and triumphs and well today I am sharing a trial (I can't be all perfect all the time, right?)

Yesterday was a really good day. It was Valentines day and my hubby was sick so I took the baby with me to the movies. I enjoyed a nice coffee yesterday and 2 little heart chocolates. I felt good because I allowed myself to have a treat and because I am eating healthy I did not have to feel bad about it.. Today is another story..

Today I am having a real bad emotional day. It is my hormonal time of the month, I am getting a bit bogged down with having extra responsibilities and miss the help that hubby normally gives (He really is a big help) and there is a situation in my life that there seems like there is no way of getting out of it, which is really really depressing.. Have you ever had those days where all of the realities and trials of bills, work, parenting, etc etc come and raise their ugly heads all at once? Well today is one of those days of me. I look at the picture above and it is almost like a mirror image, I could just drown myself in ice cream! I have been trying to think positive but right now, right here I am a bit numb to happy thoughts.

I was chocolate, I want lollies, I want ice cream!! I just want to stuff my face until my sorrows seems somewhat sweeter.. Have I had any of that stuff yet?? Well no I haven't.. Am I going to? I cannot answer that question.. There is still quite a few hours between now and tomorrow and now isn't looking too positive..

On that rather somber thought I bid you all farewell and I shall update you tomorrow whether today turned out better than I thought xoxo

Shrove Tuesday

Hi all, hope your weekend was fab..



Sorry I have not been around for about a week, I have had a sick bubba, been busy with work and have not been around much, I finally have a chance to write something small for you all today.

I found an awesome recipe for Paleo banana pancakes.. Not only are they healthy but they are gluten free and packed full of protein!! I was just browsing my Facebook this morning and Quirky cooking had a link up which led me to Primal Primos.. They have a lot of other amazing recipes as well !

I thought that since today is Shrove Tuesday I would shared the recipe with you.. Enjoy!

Paleo Banana Pancakes

Serves	4-5
Prep time	6 minutes
Cook time	5 minutes
Total time	11 minutes

• 1 large Banana
• 2 large Eggs
• dash Ground Cinnamon
• dash Ground Nutmeg

Directions

Step 1	Break up banana and pulse through food processor until a consistent mash forms.
Step 2	Add your eggs, cinnamon, nutmeg and let the food processor go until all ingredients are well incorporated.
Step 3	Lightly grease a skillet over medium heat.
Step 4	Pour batter into pan and flip once bubbles start to form.
Step 5	When the pancake is golden brown on both sides, remove from pan and enjoy!

Day 21-22 Here I am, I can do it again!

Hello beautiful people, I hope you have had a brilliant weekend..

I am not sure why I didn't start my blog with this video but today seemed like a good day to remind myself and others that we can do this!!

About 5 years ago I started a weight loss journey and lost close to 60 kilos. I did it through eating healthy, exercising and believing that I could do it.. It took just over a year to get to a good weight and I had never felt so better.. I started the weight loss journey with the right intents, losing weight because of health but then I became obsessed and I started losing weight because of how I would look. I had expectations to meet, mine and others and I wasn't happy until I got there..

To be totally honest with you all, even when I got there, I wasn't happy, I saw flaws, I picked on little things and I compared myself to others. Why?? Because I became so self absorbed, so worried about how I looked, my figure, the clothes I wore that no matter how hard I tried I would of never of been happy.. The internal struggle was never about how I looked but a deeper insecurity in who I was.

I can now tell you that even though I put a lot of weight back on during my pregnancy, I am happy now, I don't compare, I don't strive for perfection but I choose to live a healthy long life so I can see my children grow. When I get to my before weight again and can wear nice clothes that will just be a bonus in this journey, not a must!!

So sit back and enjoy my video of how I once lost weight and know that it can be done again, the right way this time!!

Day 18-20 Don't give up

Hello all lovely people, I hope that you have all had a great week!!

A friend of mine posted the video above on facebook today and I saw that it was such a great inspiration that I would share it on my blog..

This man was given a life sentence of never walking again, what hope did he have when confined to a wheelchair or walking canes? The hopelessness led to eating as I am sure so did the depression of his confinement.. It is something that we don't hear about a lot but obesity can be linked back a lot of the time to a more deeper reason. A lot of the time over eating doesn't start by someone waking up and thinking they just eat all day for the sake of it but because they have no hope.. There is usually depression, unresolved traumas from the past,being stuck in a rut with life/relationships/job etc or that the person has a medical condition and the doctor gives them a life sentence of *You cant's*

This video gives me inspiration of *you can's* If you need help to get passed what is holding you back don't be ashamed to do so. I got counseling when I lost my weight the first time and my eating habits were linked back to the fact that the only way certain relatives showed me love was by buying me food or cooking me food. As I grew up every time I felt depressed or bored I would eat because it made me feel happy.. Through counseling I was able to work through a huge part of my depression and overcome the obstacle.. This time I have overeaten because of my outlook on life. For a long time I felt stuck in a rut, not sure where I fit in and what the future had for me. I now am at peace to live day by day and embrace who I am right now, not where I may or may not be in the future.

So put down the walking cane (Metaphorically speaking), get out of that chair and believe that you can!!  xoxoxoxoxoxo